My friend had his first child christened, for ceremony’s sake; I don’t believe he or his wife are religious. I do not know if they requested the priest who performed the service or if he was chosen for them. After the water had been sprinkled on the baby’s forehead, the priest told a story. In hell, he said, everyone is seated at a table and sumptuous plates are set before them, the finest dishes a person can imagine. And instead of hands, the people have a fork and spoon at the end of their arms. But they are so long, no one can bring the food to their lips. And you know what it’s like in heaven? he asked. They feed each other.

Strangely, it appears this is a very old story repeated the world over.